Letterman’s Top Ten for January 11, 2005

Top Ten Proposed Changes At CBS News via Rathergate.com.

10. Stories must be corroborated by at least two really strong hunches.

9. “Evening News” pre-show staff cocktail hour is cancelled until further notice.

8. Reduce “60 Minutes” to more manageable 15-20 minutes.

7. Change division name from “CBS News” to “CBS News-ish”

6. If anchor says anything inaccurate, earpiece delivers an electric shock.

5. Conclude each story with comical “Boing” sound effect.

4. Instead of boring Middle East reports, more powerball drawings.

3. To play it safe, every “exclusive” story will be about how tasty pecan pie is. [And boy is it ever tasty! -M]

2. Not sure how, but make CBS News more like “C.S.I.”

1. Use beer, cash and hookers to lure Tom Brokaw out of retirement.

Funny, yes? I thought so.

One Response to “Letterman’s Top Ten for January 11, 2005”

  1. Big Al Says:

    Not a big Letterman fan, but man, that was one list which was funny top to bottom.

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